Acting versus People, Go.

I'm only at camp a couple more weeks, and tonight my roommates had a couple people over to our treehouse (cabin) to play games; but instead of joining them when I got home, I rushed up the stairs to watch a live stream event of casting directors talking about casting.

It was pretty boring. They talked about what it's like to be women in the casting industry and how technology (skype and video auditioning) is becoming more prevalent and how people are starting to care more about actors' presences on Twitter and YouTube. It was going on and on and on and on, and I was doing more and more things online at the same time as listening to it until finally I was like, What am I doing, and I stopped to talk to my roommate Jess about her birthday day that she spent with her fiance.

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One of the main reasons I want to do acting is because I want to have time to be with people.

I like to be alone a lot of the time, writing and working on my own projects, but once I'm done with that each day, I love to be around people.

This is why I want to do acting for my main job -->so that I can focus on making one movie with a bunch of people for a few months, and then I can have down time for a while to just focus on writing and my own projects and spending time with people.

That is the bigger vision for why I want to do acting, which is why I don't want to just spend every minute possible doing everything I absolutely can so I can give myself the widest opportunity absolutely possible to make it in the dream industry doing my dream job.

I would like to work in the dream industry doing my dream job, but not at the expense of the bigger vision which is to work on my own projects and spend time with people.

So yeah. I just wanted to take a minute to reiterate this to myself as well as to anyone else who cares because for real, even though I am going back to LA ready to be focused on auditioning and doing my best to finally book some things, I also am super excited to meet new people and spend time with old people and really get involved with others in whatever way opportunity presents.

Worthless Pursuits

Proverbs 12:11 says, "Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense."

Is acting a worthless pursuit? Sometimes it seems like it because there's not a direct and guaranteed way to do it and make money from doing it.

I do believe I am called to make money, not only to sustain myself, but to give to and bless others. I am currently working at a summer camp, which is not my favorite job in the world, but it gives me consistent money, and I do have "plenty of bread." (Like literally, I bought these really good rolls from Jay-C the other day, "snowflake rolls," and I eat about three a day.)

When I first moved to LA when I was 25, I was pretty poor, and I mostly ate potatoes. I was able to buy bread as well, so I did have bread, and compared to the parts of the world that are literally starving, I suppose I did have "plenty of bread." But I wasn't able to buy it because of acting, I was able to buy it because of a house cleaning job God gave me out of the blue because I wasn't making enough money from acting.

At least I had the good sense to take the basic, unglamorous job so I could eat, but what about what's in my heart in the field of acting and writing, the pursuits that people so often look at as a fantasy, i.e. "worthless?"

I know I'm supposed to work hard. (Proverbs 10:4 says, "Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.") There was a year in LA when I had a lot of extra money because my grandpa died and he willed it to me, so I stopped working in the cleaning / babysitting fields and used most my time to write and act and dance and take class. I truly believed I worked harder that year than any other year when I had a practical job; and as God continues to show me, his laws and commands in the Bible are even greater than our outward actions or what it seems like to others, they start in the heart.

I do not want to follow anything that's worthless, so as I go back to LA in August, I want to continue to work hard at writing and acting and dancing, probably while doing practical jobs part-time, but I don't want to lose the vision God has given me for the industry because while it may seem like a fantasy to some, there are actually hundreds of thousands of people doing it and making money from it. Many are probably compromising their values or perhaps don't have many values to begin with, but it's like that in any field, even Christian ministry sometimes.

So I pray God gives me strength and boldness to live out his Word daily as I pursue this field, and I pray that during the waiting periods and learning periods where I'm not making money from it yet, that He would give me practical ideas for how to use my time and talents wisely to make a profit.