I was folding laundry at the house I babysit / organize at, when the hot tub guy motioned for me to come out, so I did.
"Do you know what happened to the hose?" he said. I didn't, but this moment led to us talking for a while, which led to him encouraging me to keep going with my acting pursuit.
He said, "I know people that started out just like you, and now I'm cleaning their hot tubs." (How a guy who cleans hot tubs for a living has the ability to encourage aspiring actresses I don't know, but he does seem to like movies a lot, especially Marvel ones and anything with Adam Sandler.) "You just have to be weird," he said, "Be yourself, and be weird."
His example story was that Adam Sandler's dad used to call him a moron when he was younger, "but look where he is today." (Being a moron.. in movies? I'm just kidding. I appreciate Adam Sandler, but I just thought the hot tub guy was funny.)
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
Co-star Dreams
So my friend Kerry just got cast in this new Fox show Enlisted as a co-star on an episode. She has three lines, and in case you're not an actor and so you don't know how big of a deal that is, that is a big deal.
I have never had a line on a TV show ever. Now that I'm in SAG, I have the opportunity more available to me. However, I need to get an agent so I can actually get TV show auditions, and at this point, I am still looking for one of those.
But anyways the part is perfect for her. Basically one of the main guys comes up to her in a bar and is being sort of skeezy, and she sort of blows him off. She had to do a video audition for it because she's been living in New York, but she has some connections in LA still, so she was able to find out about it, and then she sent the video in and she booked it.
So easy right? Who couldn't make it in LA, really. Um.. let me answer that for you: most of us.
Most of us aspiring actors are having a hard time making it, including my friend Kerry for the past few years, but lately she's been getting more auditions and actually booking some things, which has been really encouraging to me.
I had lunch with her the day before the shoot, and she showed me the video audition she had made. It was good, but I was like, Dude, I can make video auditions like this. I have made video auditions like this. I could be booking stuff just like Kerry booked this, you know?
It sort of made me feel the realness of the possibility. And then I read lines with her so she could show me how she was going to do it, and it was so fun! I'm like, I love this, and I could totally be on a TV show. This is not super hard.
Like, yeah, if you're the lead role in some intense, indie drama (see: Short Term 12), it might take some preparation and hard work. But to do a few lines on a TV show? The main thing that makes that job hard is that you get so caught up in your head because you've been waiting sooooooo long for this chance, and it pays a decent amount of money, and you're going to be around people that make their livings off acting (real actors!), and this could be the role that catapults you into other roles, and omigosh you're so excited blah blah blah. But then what happens? You get so nervous you don't sleep at all the night before and then you flub all your lines and that is that. Your career is over.
Well, thankfully, that did not happen to my friend Kerry. She said it went really well, and it sounded like she had fun, (except for the long hours of waiting in the trailer beforehand, which she said was kind of lonely). The trailer! She got to wait in a trailer pretty much by herself. That is so cool.
I mean, when you do extras work (which is what I'm most familiar with in the professional TV world), you have to wait in a big, boring room with a bajillion other extras, so it's not lonely, but it can be aspiring-actor-overload, and it is still boring.
Okay well just wanted to say "YAY" to my friend Kerry, and "YAY" that it's true that people can get lines on TV shows, and "YAY" to hopefully that one day being me.
I have never had a line on a TV show ever. Now that I'm in SAG, I have the opportunity more available to me. However, I need to get an agent so I can actually get TV show auditions, and at this point, I am still looking for one of those.
But anyways the part is perfect for her. Basically one of the main guys comes up to her in a bar and is being sort of skeezy, and she sort of blows him off. She had to do a video audition for it because she's been living in New York, but she has some connections in LA still, so she was able to find out about it, and then she sent the video in and she booked it.
So easy right? Who couldn't make it in LA, really. Um.. let me answer that for you: most of us.
Most of us aspiring actors are having a hard time making it, including my friend Kerry for the past few years, but lately she's been getting more auditions and actually booking some things, which has been really encouraging to me.
I had lunch with her the day before the shoot, and she showed me the video audition she had made. It was good, but I was like, Dude, I can make video auditions like this. I have made video auditions like this. I could be booking stuff just like Kerry booked this, you know?
It sort of made me feel the realness of the possibility. And then I read lines with her so she could show me how she was going to do it, and it was so fun! I'm like, I love this, and I could totally be on a TV show. This is not super hard.
Like, yeah, if you're the lead role in some intense, indie drama (see: Short Term 12), it might take some preparation and hard work. But to do a few lines on a TV show? The main thing that makes that job hard is that you get so caught up in your head because you've been waiting sooooooo long for this chance, and it pays a decent amount of money, and you're going to be around people that make their livings off acting (real actors!), and this could be the role that catapults you into other roles, and omigosh you're so excited blah blah blah. But then what happens? You get so nervous you don't sleep at all the night before and then you flub all your lines and that is that. Your career is over.
Well, thankfully, that did not happen to my friend Kerry. She said it went really well, and it sounded like she had fun, (except for the long hours of waiting in the trailer beforehand, which she said was kind of lonely). The trailer! She got to wait in a trailer pretty much by herself. That is so cool.
I mean, when you do extras work (which is what I'm most familiar with in the professional TV world), you have to wait in a big, boring room with a bajillion other extras, so it's not lonely, but it can be aspiring-actor-overload, and it is still boring.
Okay well just wanted to say "YAY" to my friend Kerry, and "YAY" that it's true that people can get lines on TV shows, and "YAY" to hopefully that one day being me.
Friday, September 6, 2013
How do we compete Biblically?
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others" (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV).
How do you do this when you're pursuing acting? Obviously if you're at an audition, you're going to try your best, but what if you're actually in the audition room with the people that are auditioning for the same part as you, and you get to watch them?
What are you thinking that whole time? "Lord, please help them to do their best so they might get this job if it be your will."
That's what I wish I was thinking, but it was more like, "Okay, what are they doing up there and what can I do to be better than them?"
Why do I want to be better than them? Well.. I want the part.
Why do I want the part? Well.. I need the money. I could use the acting practice. The experience could help me meet more people, put my talent in front of more people, help my acting career move forward a little so I can eventually make a living off this thing I supposedly do.
Me, me, me, me, me.
Selfish ambition, anyone? It's funny because being "ambitious" is seen as a pretty good thing in our world, even in the Christian world, working hard to get better and move forward, what's wrong with that? But put the word "selfish" in front of "ambition," and people are like, "Oh yeah, that's wrong."
But what ambition isn't selfish? What does ambition even mean?
ambition. "a strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work" (source: Google).
Okay so I guess ambition in itself isn't a bad thing. It's more about your heart behind it. Is it selfish, or is there a greater reason you're wanting to work hard and achieve something?
My deep, spiritual reason for why I want to get better at acting is because I want to be a light in Hollywood and bring Jesus to actors and film people, and also I want to learn from good writers and directors so I can eventually produce my own stuff that is a light and brings Jesus to actors and film people (and regular people).
But what if God wants me to be a light and bring Jesus to people that aren't making it right now? What if that's the season I'm in, with all the other people waiting and trying and failing, and I need to be patient and wait on God's timing for everything and be happy for people whose "timing" happens to be before mine?
I don't think God wants me to fail at anything. But I think if I'm doing my best and honoring Him in what I do, that is a success.
I don't think I succeeded today, but it's not because I didn't get the part. It's because I wanted other people to not be good. I was happy when the one guy didn't have much expression, and I was looking for ways to particularly be better than the girls I was up against, instead of just hoping the director would get the people he was looking for to fulfill his vision.
This morning before my audition ironically, after I did my Bible reading for the day, I prayed for God to teach me about purity and repentance. Well, I am now more aware of my impure heart and am repenting of my selfish ambition. I pray that God would teach me how to navigate this crazy acting world while first being a servant of Him.
How do you do this when you're pursuing acting? Obviously if you're at an audition, you're going to try your best, but what if you're actually in the audition room with the people that are auditioning for the same part as you, and you get to watch them?
What are you thinking that whole time? "Lord, please help them to do their best so they might get this job if it be your will."
That's what I wish I was thinking, but it was more like, "Okay, what are they doing up there and what can I do to be better than them?"
Why do I want to be better than them? Well.. I want the part.
Why do I want the part? Well.. I need the money. I could use the acting practice. The experience could help me meet more people, put my talent in front of more people, help my acting career move forward a little so I can eventually make a living off this thing I supposedly do.
Me, me, me, me, me.
Selfish ambition, anyone? It's funny because being "ambitious" is seen as a pretty good thing in our world, even in the Christian world, working hard to get better and move forward, what's wrong with that? But put the word "selfish" in front of "ambition," and people are like, "Oh yeah, that's wrong."
But what ambition isn't selfish? What does ambition even mean?
ambition. "a strong desire to do or achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work" (source: Google).
Okay so I guess ambition in itself isn't a bad thing. It's more about your heart behind it. Is it selfish, or is there a greater reason you're wanting to work hard and achieve something?
My deep, spiritual reason for why I want to get better at acting is because I want to be a light in Hollywood and bring Jesus to actors and film people, and also I want to learn from good writers and directors so I can eventually produce my own stuff that is a light and brings Jesus to actors and film people (and regular people).
But what if God wants me to be a light and bring Jesus to people that aren't making it right now? What if that's the season I'm in, with all the other people waiting and trying and failing, and I need to be patient and wait on God's timing for everything and be happy for people whose "timing" happens to be before mine?
I don't think God wants me to fail at anything. But I think if I'm doing my best and honoring Him in what I do, that is a success.
I don't think I succeeded today, but it's not because I didn't get the part. It's because I wanted other people to not be good. I was happy when the one guy didn't have much expression, and I was looking for ways to particularly be better than the girls I was up against, instead of just hoping the director would get the people he was looking for to fulfill his vision.
This morning before my audition ironically, after I did my Bible reading for the day, I prayed for God to teach me about purity and repentance. Well, I am now more aware of my impure heart and am repenting of my selfish ambition. I pray that God would teach me how to navigate this crazy acting world while first being a servant of Him.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Sort of an audition?
I have an "interview" tomorrow to be a featured extra on Dog with a Blog.
(Just thought you'd like to know how exciting my life is right now.)
(I am actually really excited about this.)
(Just shows how not-exciting my life normally is.)
Bah! Now I'm going to go watch an episode. I actually think this show is sort of funny.
(Just thought you'd like to know how exciting my life is right now.)
(I am actually really excited about this.)
(Just shows how not-exciting my life normally is.)
Bah! Now I'm going to go watch an episode. I actually think this show is sort of funny.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Acting versus People, Go.
I'm only at camp a couple more weeks, and tonight my roommates had a couple people over to our treehouse (cabin) to play games; but instead of joining them when I got home, I rushed up the stairs to watch a live stream event of casting directors talking about casting.
It was pretty boring. They talked about what it's like to be women in the casting industry and how technology (skype and video auditioning) is becoming more prevalent and how people are starting to care more about actors' presences on Twitter and YouTube. It was going on and on and on and on, and I was doing more and more things online at the same time as listening to it until finally I was like, What am I doing, and I stopped to talk to my roommate Jess about her birthday day that she spent with her fiance.
One of the main reasons I want to do acting is because I want to have time to be with people.
I like to be alone a lot of the time, writing and working on my own projects, but once I'm done with that each day, I love to be around people.
This is why I want to do acting for my main job -->so that I can focus on making one movie with a bunch of people for a few months, and then I can have down time for a while to just focus on writing and my own projects and spending time with people.
That is the bigger vision for why I want to do acting, which is why I don't want to just spend every minute possible doing everything I absolutely can so I can give myself the widest opportunity absolutely possible to make it in the dream industry doing my dream job.
I would like to work in the dream industry doing my dream job, but not at the expense of the bigger vision which is to work on my own projects and spend time with people.
So yeah. I just wanted to take a minute to reiterate this to myself as well as to anyone else who cares because for real, even though I am going back to LA ready to be focused on auditioning and doing my best to finally book some things, I also am super excited to meet new people and spend time with old people and really get involved with others in whatever way opportunity presents.
It was pretty boring. They talked about what it's like to be women in the casting industry and how technology (skype and video auditioning) is becoming more prevalent and how people are starting to care more about actors' presences on Twitter and YouTube. It was going on and on and on and on, and I was doing more and more things online at the same time as listening to it until finally I was like, What am I doing, and I stopped to talk to my roommate Jess about her birthday day that she spent with her fiance.
***
One of the main reasons I want to do acting is because I want to have time to be with people.
I like to be alone a lot of the time, writing and working on my own projects, but once I'm done with that each day, I love to be around people.
This is why I want to do acting for my main job -->so that I can focus on making one movie with a bunch of people for a few months, and then I can have down time for a while to just focus on writing and my own projects and spending time with people.
That is the bigger vision for why I want to do acting, which is why I don't want to just spend every minute possible doing everything I absolutely can so I can give myself the widest opportunity absolutely possible to make it in the dream industry doing my dream job.
I would like to work in the dream industry doing my dream job, but not at the expense of the bigger vision which is to work on my own projects and spend time with people.
So yeah. I just wanted to take a minute to reiterate this to myself as well as to anyone else who cares because for real, even though I am going back to LA ready to be focused on auditioning and doing my best to finally book some things, I also am super excited to meet new people and spend time with old people and really get involved with others in whatever way opportunity presents.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Worthless Pursuits
Proverbs 12:11 says, "Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense."
Is acting a worthless pursuit? Sometimes it seems like it because there's not a direct and guaranteed way to do it and make money from doing it.
I do believe I am called to make money, not only to sustain myself, but to give to and bless others. I am currently working at a summer camp, which is not my favorite job in the world, but it gives me consistent money, and I do have "plenty of bread." (Like literally, I bought these really good rolls from Jay-C the other day, "snowflake rolls," and I eat about three a day.)
When I first moved to LA when I was 25, I was pretty poor, and I mostly ate potatoes. I was able to buy bread as well, so I did have bread, and compared to the parts of the world that are literally starving, I suppose I did have "plenty of bread." But I wasn't able to buy it because of acting, I was able to buy it because of a house cleaning job God gave me out of the blue because I wasn't making enough money from acting.
At least I had the good sense to take the basic, unglamorous job so I could eat, but what about what's in my heart in the field of acting and writing, the pursuits that people so often look at as a fantasy, i.e. "worthless?"
I know I'm supposed to work hard. (Proverbs 10:4 says, "Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.") There was a year in LA when I had a lot of extra money because my grandpa died and he willed it to me, so I stopped working in the cleaning / babysitting fields and used most my time to write and act and dance and take class. I truly believed I worked harder that year than any other year when I had a practical job; and as God continues to show me, his laws and commands in the Bible are even greater than our outward actions or what it seems like to others, they start in the heart.
I do not want to follow anything that's worthless, so as I go back to LA in August, I want to continue to work hard at writing and acting and dancing, probably while doing practical jobs part-time, but I don't want to lose the vision God has given me for the industry because while it may seem like a fantasy to some, there are actually hundreds of thousands of people doing it and making money from it. Many are probably compromising their values or perhaps don't have many values to begin with, but it's like that in any field, even Christian ministry sometimes.
So I pray God gives me strength and boldness to live out his Word daily as I pursue this field, and I pray that during the waiting periods and learning periods where I'm not making money from it yet, that He would give me practical ideas for how to use my time and talents wisely to make a profit.
Is acting a worthless pursuit? Sometimes it seems like it because there's not a direct and guaranteed way to do it and make money from doing it.
I do believe I am called to make money, not only to sustain myself, but to give to and bless others. I am currently working at a summer camp, which is not my favorite job in the world, but it gives me consistent money, and I do have "plenty of bread." (Like literally, I bought these really good rolls from Jay-C the other day, "snowflake rolls," and I eat about three a day.)
When I first moved to LA when I was 25, I was pretty poor, and I mostly ate potatoes. I was able to buy bread as well, so I did have bread, and compared to the parts of the world that are literally starving, I suppose I did have "plenty of bread." But I wasn't able to buy it because of acting, I was able to buy it because of a house cleaning job God gave me out of the blue because I wasn't making enough money from acting.
At least I had the good sense to take the basic, unglamorous job so I could eat, but what about what's in my heart in the field of acting and writing, the pursuits that people so often look at as a fantasy, i.e. "worthless?"
I know I'm supposed to work hard. (Proverbs 10:4 says, "Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.") There was a year in LA when I had a lot of extra money because my grandpa died and he willed it to me, so I stopped working in the cleaning / babysitting fields and used most my time to write and act and dance and take class. I truly believed I worked harder that year than any other year when I had a practical job; and as God continues to show me, his laws and commands in the Bible are even greater than our outward actions or what it seems like to others, they start in the heart.
I do not want to follow anything that's worthless, so as I go back to LA in August, I want to continue to work hard at writing and acting and dancing, probably while doing practical jobs part-time, but I don't want to lose the vision God has given me for the industry because while it may seem like a fantasy to some, there are actually hundreds of thousands of people doing it and making money from it. Many are probably compromising their values or perhaps don't have many values to begin with, but it's like that in any field, even Christian ministry sometimes.
So I pray God gives me strength and boldness to live out his Word daily as I pursue this field, and I pray that during the waiting periods and learning periods where I'm not making money from it yet, that He would give me practical ideas for how to use my time and talents wisely to make a profit.
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